Archive for July, 2007

World….slow down….

Posted in Uncategorized on July 31, 2007 by pensivelawyer

The world is fast becoming far too competitive. One always hears of young men and women putting in crazy hours (not much more than our seniors mind you!) …..The same ones end up getting sick. They often end up with blood pressure issues, heart issues, stress related nonsense…..and more.

Why is that?…Its not as if the hours we put in are much crazier than our elders….maybe 10% here and there in most cases. I know seniors who at 70+ are putting in hours that we juniors can only dream of. Those guys aren’t faced with health issues. Then why are we?

Is it the lifestyle? The ‘its the weekend so lets party and drink ourselves silly’ syndrome??? ……probably. Face facts, kids of today are less health conscious. We eat junk food, rarely exercise…..and if we do, we dont give our body the time and energy to heal by bogging it down with alcohol and cigarettes. Some of the younger generation add to that crap by doing drugs under the guise of it bieng a ‘healthier’ alternative.

Now adding to that, you have a highly competitive environment where one needs all available energy and mind power just to stay afloat! To be successful, you need to sacrifice. Are we ready to sacrifice our precious weekend binges and all that crap to be one of the few who succeed? I think most of us arent ready to accept that.

Why is that? Why is it so hard to give up something thats obviously bad for you? Habit?…..true to a certain extent. Moreso probably bcoz its ‘fashionable’ to be seen  at the right joints. Youngsters often party to be seen rather than bcoz they enjoy it. Sad, but true.

Now, to put an end to this incoherent rambling, my point is simple. Take a step back. Re-channelise your energies and focus on your priorities. Work and success are important but not so important as to lose track of yourself.

Remember, work is simply the means to an end. The end is a comfortable life with your family and you.

Smile!…:)

Posted in Uncategorized on July 26, 2007 by pensivelawyer

Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded. ”

The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimes in, “You know, I like construction workers.Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, “You’re all wrong.  Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and there are only two moving parts, the mouth and the asshole – and they are interchangeable.”

De de dum….

Posted in Uncategorized on July 21, 2007 by pensivelawyer

Yaaaay, another weekend. Dont quite know where the week went but…yaaaay. Yes, me being crazy me for no good reason.

Lotsa nonsensical crap happening in Courts. For some reason, every Judge now has multiple Boards and the Board department absolutely INSISTS on making it difficult for lawyers to understand the damn Boards.

As a result, you never know which Board is being taken up first…..sometimes, what is listed as “this Board will be taken up first” is taken up only later. I have therefore decided to do my M.B.R. (Masters in Board Reading) – Trust me, its THAT bad! Consequentially, we end up wasting time in Court that can otherwise be spent productively.

I wonder why can’t they just make one Board with all matters lines up from 1 to a gazillion for all i care and let it run serially……why make multiple Boards which confuse the lawyers and the common man is left….well, speechless!

Its stupid things like this that make the Court a laughing stock rather than a well respected institution that it should be.  

Think before you speak!….:)

Posted in Uncategorized on July 16, 2007 by pensivelawyer

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak – Have you ever spoken and wished that you could Immediately take the words back…Or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did….

FIRST TESTIMONY :

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow And asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?”
I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn’t say a word…
He knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY :

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s balls”

THIRD TESTIMONY :

My sister and I were at the mall and Passed by a store that sold a Variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, The boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.”
My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, My sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon, My toddler decided to release Some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of Her after receiving looks of disgust And annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now” she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you Kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!”
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and Walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY :

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room. hile enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, o of course I checked My seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny Had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, And he said “No”.
I kept thinking “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes ith me.”
Then I said, “Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?”
“No,” he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, “Danny did you have an accident ? This
time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, Bent over, spread his cheeks And yelled “SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!”

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, Thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days And a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, In the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don’t get any!
We had a female news anchor that, The day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, Turned to the
weatherman and asked:

“So Bob, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?”
Not only did HE have to leave the set, But half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

The power of a smile…

Posted in Uncategorized on July 5, 2007 by pensivelawyer

Am learning that there are few joys in life that are equivalent to, or greater than the joy one experiences in causing a smile.

…………..:)

Same ol’ story…

Posted in Uncategorized on July 1, 2007 by pensivelawyer

So here we are, with every newspaper that screams  about the floods that the ‘burbs are facing due to the rampant and illegal construction that has taken place in the last few years and i ask myself, now what is to be done?

Admittedly, you can’t demolish the new buildings that have come up with the requisite permissions from the Municipal Authorities, howsoever we think might have been obtained….a vast number of people will be dishoused…..and yet, can this situation be permitted to continue?

Will we let the Municipal Authorities blame the Rain Gods time and again?

Will we let them scream out hoarse that the ‘drains are clean’ and over XX Crores of Rupees have been sunk doing so?

Yes, i know that the rains are unprecedented……i know that we’ve had 40% of the annual rainfall in these short span of time….

I also know that the Municipal Authorities fu&%ed up bigtime! Make them pay! Let them lose their jobs…let them be rendered homeless…..Let their ‘Government job’ security blanket be snatched. MAKE THEM ACCOUNTABLE TO THE PUBLIC!

And for God’s sake, get a freaking accurate weather prediction system so that we aren’t forced to listen to nonsensical predictions based on outdated charts and previous patterns!

Sinking a further few hundred crores of rupees into a drainage system is something that seriously needs to be considered and debated. It is a huge expenditure, for the few days of this kind of torrential downpour we are now seeing. The world over, weather is known to disrupt work and shut down a city…..Bombay is no different.

What must not be allowed is human inefficiency (in not predicting the weather-to the best possible extent) causing a loss of human life and property.