A different me?

November 06
Back to reality
“Every flight usually ends with a crash!”

Words someone had told me a long time ago and i recalled on this crash back to life and to reality. My Diwali vacation from Court just ended and was a good one. But, everything in life (specifically the good stuff) comes at a cost.

I was supposed to head to Lucknow for a break with friends. Was supposed to be some R & R time away from Bombay and the rigours of a working vacation. I ended up in Newyork doing some pending family work. From Lucknow to Newyork….thats quite a radical change in plans!

Unfortunately, travelling halfway around the world for just a week is still physically demanding and i am now suffering from jetlag. Add to that today is the first day of Court so i am probably gonna be in the thick of it.

The next 3 weeks promise to be full of work and more work. Bring on the coffee! Its gonna be another caffeine driven adrenaline pumping stint.

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October 29
Halloween
Saturday nite in the Big Apple….goin to a Halloween parety at a friend’s place.

THe past few days have been fun. I’ve been busy doing some stuff in NYC and unfortunately, haven’t been able to do the things i usually do to unwind. Hopefully tonite, i get a few drinkies.

Hope ye all are having a blast too.

Happy Halloween.

Love,
S.
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October 24
Vacation
Gonna take a li’l break and head to the big apple for some work. Really excited as have been dying to get outta Mumbai for a while. The big apple, as i know, has been a second home to me and i hope to come back with recharged batteries soon.

See you’ll later.
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October 21
Some words i liked…:)
‘My dear friend, you can stand to eat a meal – if you must – and you can stand to make love – if you are able – but it is impossible to stand and drink whisky. It is the act of a barbarian. A man who stands up to drink a noble alcohol like whisky, in all but a toast to some noble thing or purpose, is a beast – a man who will stop at nothing.’

— Didier Levy in Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts
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Happy Diwali
Wish ye all a Happy Diwali and a prosperous new year ahead.

Love,
S.

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October 18
Beware
Beware

There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand!

This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on, pick up your bag and take 2 good friends to the nearest pub. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE).

The quickest acting WINE type is called Swift-Hitting-Infiltrator-Remover-All-Zones (SHIRAZ) but this is only available for those who can afford it, the next best equivalent is Cheapest-Available-System-Killer (CASK). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

Forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends you have already been infected and WORK is controlling
your life.

After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but May require a more generous application!!!!!!!!
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Confusion
I am confused. Let me explain….

I’m bored of my current cellphone. Naaaah….its not like it isn’t working fine…..hell, its great!……its sturdy, durable and has lasted me a while….doesn’t give me tension when it falls (which counts for a lot), is small and lightweight and all in all is a great phone…..which i am bored of…

So i went to the neighbourhood phone store and started looking around for a new phone…..and i saw a couple that i seemed to like.

One was the Sony Ericsson W810i – Snazzy looking walkman thingie which can probably fly a space shuttle. I kid you not, that thing is loaded with gadgets and more crap than you can EVER need.

And the other was the Nokia 5500 Sport – I liked the looks but compared to the SE, was rather dull. Nice in its own space and its got pretty much the same features. Add to that its a sport phone i.e. its water-resistant and some more crap to that effect. Basically, sturdy. And hey, its a Nokia. Always used Nokias and i’m comfy wid them.

Both are roughly the same size and price.

And then we have the N72 – the NOkia N series which honestly, i have heard mixed reviews on…..features are the same……flip side – its a bloody brick!…..god, its heavy and looks easy to break…hehehehehe.

And now, the Samsung SGHt629 has been thrown into the loop, albeit at a much cheaper price, same features…..and damn good looks.

Which renders me a confused soul. How in God’s name does a man rationalize and decide this one?

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October 16
1 week to go!
Its the final week of court before we break for a 2 week Diwali vacation. Yes, its a designated vacation where we don’t have the usual court ka chakkar and we dont have to worry about the next day’s board or meet with clients or more crap like that. This is some serious R & R time, that is if YOU choose to do so.

Unfortunately, my work for this vacation is already cut out….but, no fear. Am planning a li’l vacation out of Bombay to de-stress and unwind. This will be my first vacation to a city (hahahahaha) other than the Big Apple. I shall go to Lucknow. More on this later.

Have a great week ahead.

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October 10
My cuppa
This sucks!….the maid who makes my usual morning cuppa coffee decided to take a vacation (a well deserved one considering my usual tyranny i might add) and now, the other maid has absolutely no idea how in God’s name to make my coffee.

This teaches me the importance of further appreciating the cup the i gulp each morning. Maybe its time i take a moment and savour its flavour…the manner in which the few unmixed chunks of coffee powder float on the surface and add a whole new dimension in taste and strength…..the effect which it has on this excuse for a mind….cuase i sure as hell ain’t appreciating what i’m gettin now!

So this morning i tried something radically different. I aksed for tea instead of coffee amidst gasps of shock and horror. By now, everyone at home is aware that my morning cup of coffee is sacred and for me to switch to tea would mean that the world is soon coming to an end (which it just might if North Korea goes the Iraq way). I woke up to the fact that tea just doesnt cut it for me. Later on in the day its fine…..but the first cuppa of the day has to be my deadly acidic mix. Maybe its time i tried a vodka chai….
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October 06
Joys
There are a few joys in life that equal the joy one feels on a Friday evening in office….at the end of a long and arduous week. I feel that joy but i know that its a short lived joy. Why you ask?….well. for the uninitiated, tomorrow is a ‘designated working saturday’.

Some may ask, ‘What in God’s name is THAT?’

– Well, its kinda hard to explain except by stating the truth, as bluntly put as can be. Nobody loves us.
Ok ok…i’m being overly dramatic as usual. Basically the Courts designate a few saturdays as ‘designated working saturday’ where the courts function as if it were a normal weekday.

Heaven forbid, how can they do somethin like that?

– They can and they have. There is no sense in fighting good sense. There is a backlog of cases (a fuc%in hige one at that) and it must be dealt with and we lawyers must do our bit just as the Judges do their bit by coming to work on a saturday and dismissing matters left right and center…hehe.

Therefore, i must be prepared to sleep early tonight and not party (as i prefer to do on a friday night), imust be prepared to wake up earlier than i usually wake up on a saturday…..and worst of all, i must gulp my coffee the same way i do so every weekday. Joys hurt when they have to be given up but that last one is truly one of the greatest and thus hurts a lot!

Cry for me!

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October 03
Long weekend gela
Yes, it came and went….and i dont even recollect it.

I worked this weekend. It was nasty, but i managed to wake up each morning and go into office, to meet clients and draft affidavits……plan lawsuits and strategize them….mould them, study possible theories of interpretation to the legal implication of each action…..as you can imagine, i had no weekend.

But even when the skies are cloudy, a ray of light often shows through and in such times, stand out. Those are the moments we live for!
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September 28
People are weird
I am of the opinion that people in Mumbai are slowly but surely going NUTS!

Blame this on the weather, the work, the women or even the Lord. The fact remains, people are going nuts! God help us all.
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September 23
Pensive me
Its one of those days where i dont wanna go out n party or even hang out. Just feel like lying down in front of the television and falling asleep….hopefully to some ultra boring programme.

Have been in a rather pensive mood all day….or rather, for a while now…but i guess its only a matter of time till it passes over.
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September 22
Closer n closer
Another 6 hours to go….why the hell does time crawl by when we’re working and race by when we’re unwinding?
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Breathless…
Am slowly but surely realising that life is best lived from week to week. Monday thru Fridays are usually reserved for work and Friday nights to Sunday evenings are (usually) reserved for unwinding. Am on a Friday morning as i type this so the levels of frustration are pretty high. Another 12 hours to go.

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September 19
HELP!
Oh God, another morning at work. Another day of the unending torture of people’s problems, dealing with issues, arguing for a few rupees…mental irritation, dealing with the fact that i need to get working on my papers….and more!

Bring it on baby!
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September 18
T-shirt slogans i like
1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

2) I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4) Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6) Don’t take life too seriously; you won’t get out alive.

7) You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9) Earth…. is the insane asylum for the universe.

10) I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.

11) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12) I don’t have to be dead to donate my organ.

13) God must love stupid people; He made so many of them.

14) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.

16) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

17) Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

18) Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

19) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!

20) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With A——s!

21) “That’s It! I’m Calling Nana!” (seen on an 8-year old)

22) “Wrinkled…. Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up”

23) “Procrastinate….. Now”

24) “Rehab….. Is for Quitters”

25) “My Dog…. Can Lick Anyone”

26) “I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts – Do You Want Fries With That?”

27) “Party – My Crib – Two A.M.” (On a baby-size shirt)

28) “Finally 21, and Legally Able to do Everything I’ve been doing since I was 15”

29) “Arkansas: One Million People and 15 last names”

30) “FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.”

31) “I’M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I’VE GOT A GUN”

32) “A hangover is the wrath of grapes”

33) “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance”

34) “STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!”

35) “DISCOURAGE INBREEDING – Ban Country Music”

36) “They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken”

37) “He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.”

38) “Time is fun when you’re having flies”…Kermit the Frog

39) “POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN …. Cops have nothing to go on.”

40) “FOR SALE – Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.”

41) “HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON’T BELIEVE IN GOSH”

42) “HAM AND EGGS – A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.”

43) “WELCOME TO KENTUCKY – Set your watch back 20 years.”

44) “The trouble with life is there’s no background music.”

45) “The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.”

46) “MOP AND GLOW – The Floor Wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.”

47) “NyQuil – The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room spinning-medicine.”

48) “My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.
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Another lawyer joke i like
A professor of a Contract Law class asked one of his better student,

“If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?”

The student replied, “Here is an orange.”

The professor was outraged. “No! No! Think like a lawyer!”

Finally the professor replied, “Okay, I tell you.

`I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, title, claim and advantages of and in, a fruit, popularly known as orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights
and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, notwithstanding anything contained herein before or hereinafter or in
any other deed, deeds or instruments of whatever nature or kind to the contrary.”

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September 17
Trivialities
To live a powerful life is not as easy as we think it to be. We often get bogged down by trivial issues and end up making mountains out of molehills leading us to consider ourselves, with the benefit of hindsight, as fools.

I am slowly getting out of the rut of complicating such trivial issues. It defi IS a rut as we often end up getting stuck into the same ol’ mundane existence and dont even see life pass us by. Once out of this rut, the possibility to live each day to the fullest emerges….and is a powerful magnet to further draw us to it.

I dont perceive it as a goal…..i perceive it as a way to transform your existing perceptions on every imaginable subject and thus, open a whole new world. The world now awaits us rather than us awaiting anything.

August 31
Ganpati bappa morya
Its the fifth day of Ganpati and there is bound to be traffic on the roads tonite. Too bad considering i wanted to get out for a drink tonight. Am considering taking a few days off the coming week and heading out of the city.

There was a chapter that closed today at work. Its actually the case i argued and have referred to it hereinabove. I was glad to see the chapter end….though, i dont know if the book has come to an end just yet. The law is something like this. Its like a book. The only problem is…..you never know when its going to end.

Sad for some, a life for some. Quite like most things in life!

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August 29
Moods
Just in one of those moods where i dont feel like doing anything. Its not often i get into one of these moods.

Today was a dull day…..so was yesterday. Its quite quite irritating when you’re sitting in Court waiting for your matter to come up and it just doesn’t reach! You cant even go do some other work because if the Board collapses, God help you! So, you end up sitting and trying to stay awake in Court.

Have been a li’l pensive lately…thinking of stuff that i dont normally think of. Gonna spend some time in front of the TV. God, i need a nice massage!

August 26
This is so ‘me’!
Got this email from a friend who thought it was very ‘me’. Cant say i disagree!

Awesomely funny though………

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, rather take it out on someone you don’t know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying “Hello.”

I politely said, “This is Joe. Could I please speak with Robyn?”

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear “Get the right f**ing number!” and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled “You’re an asshole!” and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word ‘asshole’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an asshole!”

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic “asshole calling” would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, “Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar with our Caller ID Program?”

He yelled “NO!” and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an asshole!”

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I’d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a “For Sale” sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I’d better call the BMW asshole, too I said,

“Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”

“Yes, it is”, he said.

“Can you tell me where I can see it?” I asked.

“Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It’s a yellow house, and the car’s parked right out in front.”

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“My name is Don Hansen,” he said.

“When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”

“I’m home every evening after five.”

“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”

“Yes?”

“Don, you’re an asshole!” Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1.

“Hello.”

“You’re an asshole!” (But I didn’t hang up.)

“Are you still there?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Stop calling me,” he screamed.

“Make me,” I said.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“My name is Don Hansen.”

“Yeah? Where do you live?”

“Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front.”

He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.”

I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole,” and hung up.

Then I called asshole #2.

“Hello?” he said.

“Hello, asshole,” I said.

He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are…”

“You’ll what?” I said.

“I’ll kick your ass,” he exclaimed.

I answered, “Well, asshole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really works…

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Earn that drink!
Had a crazy crazy friday in Court and had a BLAST! Appeared in a matter that was my baby for a while. Had been on it since the beginning but this was the first time i was specifically there to argue….and i was alone. Now in moments like this, being alone is a boon!…..You appear only for your own sake. Yeah, the client is there…..but more often than not he has no idea whats going on! Anyway, i digress as usual. I was alone and my sole reassurance lay in the fact that i had read up on the matter. Done my research….and i was ready.

So the matter was finally called out and we argued and the momentum swung one way (against me) and the we argued some more and it finally swung my way…..and i got my order. It taught me a lesson. Gentle persistence pays. Its not about how loud you are…..Its about how loud your words are.

On another note, the weekend is here. Time for mazaa. Its been a rough rough week and though i intend to work the weekend (part-time), i will find time to unwind. See ya at the gym!

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August 24
Days are gettin longer
I’m enjoying the days….

Post Landmark Forum, life seems to be more fulfilling…exciting….

I strive to make each day and each minute in each day count and i think i am able to complete more than i normally would be able to. Makes me wonder why i waited for so long.

Couple of days back, i was faced with a situation in Court where a matter was being dismissed and i saw a different me explode. This ‘me’ spoke reason and did not run away from the fear within. Somehow, i found my voice. Now this my ‘calling’?….some have told me they see me in that role….i think if at all it is meant to be, it is far far away….and hence not worth thinking about anymore.

Life is RIGHT NOW. whooosh…….there it goes.

P.S. the weekend is almost here. Lookin forward to some fun.
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August 23
More wisdom
Marriage

1. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become ! two side s of a coin. They just can’t face each other, but they still stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the “Y” becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right; I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

22. It’s not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway
Lighs on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN’T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper – WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing – YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing – either the car is new or the wife is.

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August 21
Words don’t come easy….
Just not been ready to write….i wonder why.

Had a really busy weekend with my brother moving back into the city and setting up a new office for himself. Never realised that the amount of time these damn renovations take. Add to that confusions about cell phones, air-conditioners, cars and the whole problem gets magnified. Nevertheless, its a good problem to have and i’ve been enjoying myself finding the right gadgets. Hell, its a guy thing!

I guess the words will flow when they’re ready to flow. Don’t wanna let the crap flow (though i’ve been told i can speak enough crap)…..

Until later.

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August 17
Girlfriend5.0 to Wife 1.0
Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the ‘uninstall’ doesn’t work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
“A Troubled User”

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this.

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend DesignerWear 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support ..

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Going strong
The Landmark Forum being over, effects thereof are supposed to disappear. Or so i’ve been told. Nothing of the sort happening here. Maybe i’m not letting it go so easy.

Its been a while since i’ve felt like the world is my playground. Its a good feeling and i defi aint letting it get away from me that easy. Gonna work towards incorporating a whole new life. Was the old one not good enough?…..nothing like that actually. Its just that the new one i’m seeing is so much better.

Some of you’ll may wonder, has this guy gone nuts?…probably…..but how else can you explain a whole new world? Do yourself a favour and go do the forum….its bloody good!

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August 14
A new me
Now some of you may wonder where the old me went and when the new me came around. Some may not but don’t worry, its simply because you aren’t perceptive enough….:)

I finished the Landmark forum last night. It was such a mind-blowing experience. Exhilirating. Liberating. Now i can go on using big words with fantastic meanings, but they dont do much unless you see the possibility that lies within.

Now i am a lawyer…..trained to be a pessimist……always look at worst case scenario….blah blah blah…..you know the kind dont you? Was at a rather grim scene where thoughts were endless and it seemed like a mountain of effort would be required to hell, bring it under some kind of control. Dealing with the whole gamut seemed pretty much impossible on Friday morning and i was ….well….lets just say that i didnt see much of a choice. Monday morning, its a new me.

Some ask, is it a new way of life? Some ask, is it a new way of thinking? Some ask, are you on drugs?

The answer lies in the fact that our perceptions are trained in a certain way…i.e. the way we perceive a situation is most often at fault. The Landmark forum helped me get back my clarity of thought, my sense of perception and much much more. It helped me find me. It completed me.

Yes, the ‘me’ that i found was inside….and some things we learnt were things i did anyway everyday, without even understanding the implications thereof. But, when you do something and are a certain way, and you know why, its adds a whole new dimension to life.

And THATS what i feel right now. Kick ass bitch! Time to start life afresh.
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August 12
Forum
This is forum weekend. Went through day 1 yesterday and its already transformed me. Yes, i’m not saying its transformed my ‘way of thinking’ or ‘my thought process’…..its transformed me! I think its quite simple…..you enter the forum and decide that you want to give it 100%. Thats what you need to do!

Will give more on this later. A new genesis awaits.

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August 10
Stages of life

Stages of life is proving to be quite an interesting topic of conversation….What stage am i at?

Hmmm……lets critically analyze my work day.

I wake up, go to work, work all day, try and drink enough tea / coffee to stay awake (yeah, its thats heavy), head to the gym to pump out my frustrations which were built up during the course of the day, reach home and sleep.

Now, for obvious reasons i cant go into details of meetings and client conferences as its a breach of confidentiality, but you can surely understand that beyond a point, it pisses me off! Hell, too much interaction with people pisses me off!!!

Given the aforementioned workday, i am of the opinion that i am unable to define what stage of life i am at. However, i can and therefore will say that I, at this stage, definitely need some coffee.

There we have it…..stages of life…..simplified to numerous cups of coffee in a day.

I guess i’m at a stage where i dont want to think about what stage of life i am at, like most people i know.

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August 09
Inane thoughts
Of late, i find great joy in pissing people off.

There!…its out….the truth, the whole truth….well most of it atleast.

I always used to be the kind of person who derived joy in word play. Call it word-play, double meaning, innuendo….whatever you prefer. Fact is, i love taking the words uttered in a conversation and turning and twisting them to such an extent that the speaker if often left exasperated! Its just that now, the i wonder if am doing it more out of habit than for the love of it. Is it slowly becoming ‘me’?

For that matter, what the hell is a normal conversation?…..’Hi, how are you?….howz yr day coming along?….blah blah and more blah.’…..now if THAT is what the world calls a normal conversation then well, its more fun my way.

For those of you who know me, fear not, i shall continue being me. No sense changing when its not for the better!

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August 07
Irony of life
IRONY OF LIFE

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don’t really care for them.

4. Although they don’t really care for them, they always have one around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.

7. Although the woman leaves them they still don’t learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “an old rag”.

6. Although their clothes are always “just an old rag”, they still expect you to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they dont believe you!
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August 06
Friendship day
Another way for the damn card n gift wallahs to make money. …..lets see….we have Mother’s day, Father’s day, AIDS day (or was it week?), World peace day, No war day, Peace in Lebanon day…and of course the usual Valentine’s day etc… ..Where the hell is the need for a Friendship day?

‘But friends must express their love for each other’

Dont even get me started on that one. No, i dont have an issue with friends falling in love …and expressing it……its just that bcoz of this stupid day, i get a gazillion SMS’s with my phone beeping all fuckin day (due to which it is now on silent)……which face facts, can be quite quite pissing off.

Its pouring cats and dogs and the Met department has apparently said that there will be heavier rains….in the case, i might be able to go for a run this evening, when the sun comes out. Yeah yeah, whatever. I feel like being a grumpy ol’ fart today.

Happy Friendship day to ye all. May the power of friendship flow within your veins so as to encompass the maximum pleasures of life.

Love,
S.

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August 04
The head
And we fought and fought and argued and did pretty much everything except reach a conclusion. Damn, isn’t that why the Judge is there in the first place?…..This was the short and sweet of my li’l matter this morning. Before the Contempt Court. Now you have a guy, who admittedly until the Contempt matter was filed by us, has done precious little….infact, has done stuff to render the order nugatory in a certain manner, and now the guy comes and and says he’s ready to comply with the earlier order (the one which was nicely rendered nugatory by his devious methods)…..and the Court accepts this!!!…..seems a li’l bit illogical to me!….i would’ve hung the fu&^er……well…mebbe not hung but defi some jail time!

And the other matter, a bhendi fry of a lawyer seeks time bcoz he didnt get papers….idiot, how did you know whcih court to come to then?…..and the Judge grants it!…..geez!

Am i being too perfect?…..i’m not sorry for wanting people to go to jail…..when they obviously deserve to! Fuc& you Bit%h…..you mess, you die……simple as that……i’ve realised that if you offer people a finger, they’ll probably gobble up your whole arm!
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August 03
Its a new day
Everytime you come to a fork in the road, where you have to make a decision, somehow, somewhere, you’ll see a sign.

Life has changed in the last couple of days…..for the better. Instances of growing up overnight are too few…but they are cherished.

God, my head hurts!…lol

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August 01
Days go by….
Damn, the days fly by so quickly…..and i have no idea how the time is spent. Quite unusual for me, being the kind of person i am…trying to fill every minute of every day with something.

Trying hard to focus and sometimes, i feel that in trying that hard lies the problem. I wonder if i already need another vacation. Can’t be!….i just got back….hell, the memory of NYC is awake and alive in my mind. Maybe i need a russian laptop…….

On a serious note, maybe this is why i need to do the forum. A wise man once said…..’Life’s a journey, not a destination’. Wait a second, this is the same guy who also said…..’There’s something wrong with the world today, I don’t know what it is.’

Maybe the search for a ‘destination’ makes us myopic in the present. But, isn’t the present where we are and what we should enjoy? Where does the answer lie? Or rather, is there even an answer?

Even the best fall down sometimes.
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme.
–Howie Day

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July 31
Hahahaha
Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, go prepared for some standard questions that are asked from them when commentators chat with them during the awards ceremony. Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always had a standard response to the first question. But this time…..

Tony Greig: So Inzi, that’s fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time!

Inzamam: Bismillah-e-Rehman-e-Rahim! All credit goes to the boys. Everyone work hard for it, especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he went in. Without his strokes it not have been possible. He was pulling the good balls. Also Bob Woolmer keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions. It’s all team effort which pulled us out of big hole!. Insha Allah, we all will work together as team, put in big effort and deliver good result all the time.

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July 29
Beer anyone?
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.

The husband,although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.”

Where are you going, coochy cooh?” asked the wife.

“I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’m going to have a beer.” The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door of the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan , India , etc. The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, lolly pop…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses…”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, puppy face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious … I won’t be long, I’ll be right back. I
promise. OK?”

“You want hors d’oeuvres, poochi pooh?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings,pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

“But my sweet honey… at the bar… you know… there’s swearing, dirty words and all that.”

“You want dirty words, cutie pie?…

“LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD!
DRINK YOUR FU*KING BEER IN YOUR GODDAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR
MOTHER-FU*KING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED NOW AND YOU AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, AS*HOLE?”

…And they lived happily ever after

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2 Responses to “A different me?”

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